Escape

Hi Blog,

I needed to relax tonight so I ended up doing crunches while I was boiling water to make tea and listening to stress-relieving music... and as I was doing my crunches I started thinking about the state of some things in and around my life... and I burst into tears.
I deal with a lot of stress from day to day... and all the little things add up and build and build and build.... and the most subtle things linger in my head (the things I've done wrong, the things that I have been criticized, certain negative attitudes I sense expressed towards me) and I can't let them go... and in my head along with those things are the things that I need to do... and along with those subtle things and those things that I need to do is the possibility of everything going horribly wrong... and sometimes I just want to run away.
Tomorrow or the next day I will be heading off to visit my family for the holidays... which theoretically should be nice however I have a feeling during the entire time I will be thinking about the things that stress me about and wondering if everything is going horribly wrong while I am away and wondering if my phone is going to ring and wondering if I am going to come back to a disaster... and when I sleep that is probably what will be running through my mind... just like that is what runs through my mind while I try to sleep, here.
I really shouldn't have this much anxiety... but I do... I just do.
I feel like I need to escape which is why I've thought about certifying myself to teach English overseas and going to Japan. Maybe.