When life gets you down, get a new life.

Hello World,

It has been over 2 months since I last made a blog entry. I was unsure whether I would continue writing in my blog or not... but I think I will.

I now live in Taiwan and I am on the other side of the world from where I was before.
I've started a new life in a new world, meeting entirely new people, working a new job, living in a new apartment in a new city, trying new foods, trying to learn a new language.

There really is a lot to be said and I can't say it all... so, I am going to focus this entry primarily on how I feel.

First of all, I am going to make it clear that I am happy here. I love what I do for work and I am loving the experience of living on this island.... and there is still a lot of living to be done. Although I am indeed happy, no matter where you go you will still run into problems and life wont just be easy... and the difficulties are what I am about to focus on.

When I first came here, it was exciting and sensational because everything was new... EVERYTHING was new! That is... intense... in a huge way. But then, after while nothing was really new anymore... and I kind of drift in and out of a slight depression here and there... which has led me to want to travel and see the rest of the island and the awesome thing is that.... I can! Travel is cheap and I just can.. and when I take longer vacations, I can see other nearby countries as well. I've been trying to explore my city when I have free time, taking LONG (Really long) walks into different areas of the city... but unfortunately I don't live in the most exciting or beautiful tourist city. That also depresses me a bit.... I came to a new country... I want to sight see.... but there is nothing exciting really, really close to me. There's a lot of shopping to be done in my area though and it's fucking awesome! There are some sweet-ass clothes in the stores nearby here... and I can afford them! It's like Second Life became real life! :D

Anyway, yeah... there's the dip in excitement... and as for my job.. I can't really complain about it right now... I love it... and I will admit that for the first while I was unsure about it and unsure as to how my relationships with my fellow employees and supervisor will develop but it has been going very well, lately and I LOVE what I do! When away from work I can get a lil down at times.... it does get a bit frustrating when I can't speak the language of the majority and I can't even simply speak to a salesperson or order some food without difficulty... and little things like that which do build up a lil bit at times. Culture shock is something that develops over-time and it is often like a depression. I have been trying to get out of my apartment and going out and about as much as I can and that is a great way to avoid culture shock. I do also miss certain things from home.... such as great amounts of open space, being able to speak to everyone and communicate with ease, and being around family and having that close-knit support group (family). I've never appreciated them as much as I do now. I also miss cooking at home. I want to buy an oven/grill/ coffee pot in one.

The guys... yes, the guys. I must mention the gay guys. On my first weekend here I went on the personals site and DAMN I got lots of attention (and they were decent looking too) and I was EXCITED! However I came to realize that they were just.... too easy? For one thing it was overwhelming because several guys wanted to meet with me and I simply don't have that much time.... so then I feel like I am in a situation where I need to filter and choose but you never know until you meet someone and I never wanted to completely reject anyone before I was sure and it was just a mess.... and I had only met a few... and one guy kept trying to make out with me when his friends left the room and it was just damn annoying...I found I wasn't that into him... and a lot of the guys were just TOO desperate to be with me and they PUSHED and PUSHED their advances onto me which just pushed me away... There was a guy I met when I first got here... and I met him again this past weekend... He is a nice guy, good personality, etc... and we fooled around Saturday night, then again Sunday morning and everything went well... but I was still left with an empty feeling in the end... like there was no real spark... and if I meet anyone else is it going to be any different... I mean... they are all crazy desperate naive horny psyho boys.... How is it going to get any better? Should I even bother? The sex may be good... but it's just depressing when we finish and I just want him to leave when we're done. I want to want him to stay... but there has to be a MEGA SPARK for me to want that... and mega sparks don't happen with me lately.

hmm... It's nice to get my thoughts out in my blog again. Now I think it's time for me to retire and maybe get some sort of beverage before bed. Goodnight!