Death

A lot of people who I have spoken to lately have in some way been dealing with the loss of someone close to them.... and today I was just thinking... well at first at my ability to write characters in a screenplay and my limits... how I tend to avoid realism and ordinary characters because I don't feel like an ordinary character.... in that I am emotionally detached and unable to empathize with others in certain situations. I do express empathy because that is the proper way to respond but I don't actually fully feel it. Deep down I don't understand the lost attachment, I guess.
I have had a lot of people pass away who have had a presence in my life. All my grandparents are gone, five uncles, a couple cousins, a few family friends, and some personal friends from long ago. But none of them really people who I see every day. They were people who I cared about and I respect their memory. The loss of these people has definitely affected me to some degree. Some of them were great people and I feel their memory should be honored. But what I am trying to say is that none of them were people who I saw every day in my life. So I have never felt the feeling of remorse in it's strongest form, making it a feeling that I am not familiar with. I'd actually rather not get acquainted with that feeling and I dread the day where that will have to happen. What is actually quite upsetting is that I am the youngest in my family and I will probably never start a family in my own. So there is a good chance that I will be alone in the later years of my life... unless I die young... which is also not ideal. There are a lot of things that I'd like to do during my lifetime that I haven't done yet.
Well, I think that's all I am going to write on this topic.
Bye for now.