Finding Strength

This blog is actually less about me and more about a friend of mine... who I hope never manages to find my blog. =S
This person has been sort of a friend/acquaintance for the past couple of years. She is not someone who I have hung out with consistently or a lot per say, but we're still talking and we have reconnected a little bit in the past few months.

Well, the person has always had emotional problems. From when I first met her, I remember she use to call me crying and I really wouldn't know what to do. She always seemed to be involved in some sort of drama with the people she knew and at one point wound up in hospital due to attempted suicide.

Last night, she messaged me on my Blackberry and told me that she wanted to die. I told her no. I told her that not being able to cope with life and move forward was a weakness. She argued that humanity is weak anyway. I told her that she does not have to be weak and that she can work towards being happy. I then asked her why she was so depressed and she explained to me that she was always alone and rejected by everyone around her. I asked her why that would be and she did not know. I explained that I believe it is the negative feelings that push everyone away and that her problem is cyclical. She asked if that is pushing me away. I told her if anything were to push me away, that would be it. The conversation did carry on and we talked more... I guess what also helps is that many times in the recent years of my life I have felt very alone and desperate as well and have managed to cope and move forward...

I am now to see her on the weekend and to have fun, no moping involved. When we are together, we do have a surprisingly good time, even though we may be a bit of yin and yang.

It seems I am often the only person she has even though we are not the closest people ever. Sometimes the negativity is a lot to deal with. I sometimes just need time for myself to focus on my own life without the problems of others. When I am having a time like that, I will make it clear. However when I can I feel patience is in order. Somehow, it seems I am good for her to have as a friend. My rationality seems to balance things out and help her a little bit.

One thing I believe I should not do is to get involved in her life, as I do not want to be part of the drama and I would be less helpful to her if I was involved with the drama, so I will keep my distance in a way and remain outside of all of that. However there already are small complications, which I hope do not grow as a factor.

Peace!